I was diagnosed in 2020, It started with not being able to chew and not being able to pronounce words with an R or S in them. Then the physical toll began. I had a pickup, that was to high to get into, so I switched to an SUV, I would get home from work, barley being able to move and lift my feet, trembling from pain and discomfort I would feel. I thought if this is the worse I experience, this is going to be cake.
It wasn't. By the end of 2020, sometimes I wasn't able to speak at all, rinse out my mouth, brush my teeth or shave. These symptoms would come and go. In 2021 I started feeling pain or discomfort in hands, arms and legs. In 2022 I had three crisis in three months. Each more sever then the first.
I experienced new symptoms or a severity of previous symptoms after each crisis. I take mestinon and prednisone, after the last two crisis I had plasmaphereses. A couple of days after getting out of the hospital, the last time, I started Vyvgrt. It's been almost a year now. That treatment makes me feel almost normal. Symptoms I experience now are occasional daily discomfort arms, shoulders and legs, weakness once I walk more then a block, discomfort in my neck when I am stressed out, difficulty breathing and discomfort or pian at my diaphragm, the last week before Vyvgrt treatments begin.
There is no difficulty chewing, brushing my teeth, difficulty with speech. I run into people and they say you look good. But it is just surface. Truth is I can't work hard, I can't move fast, I can't move for a long time. I hear people go into remission, I am looking into this. Every time I feel like I am getting better, something happens, to let me know that is not the case.
Last 6 months I have focused on learning all I can about the disease, taking naps or just laying down and closing my eyes for 20-30 minutes. I wake up everyday expecting the unexpected, and go to bed thinking it was a good day. I have friends and loved ones say it is mind over matter. I think they say that because they don't see the person I was, before this started.
It is not mind over matter. This is an insidious disease. Before this disease I made sure I was knowledgeable about everything I needed to know about I armed my self with the tools I needed to get through the day and prepare for the day to come. I learn what I can of the disease, about people who have gone into remission, about what makes things worse for me. I show gratitude and appreciation. for my support group. I don't know if life will get better, but I can think, I can talk, I can read, I can laugh, I can sing. I wake up expecting the unexpected. I think that is the best we can do.