MG Makes Me Hesitant to Date Again
Myasthenia gravis (MG) has brought new fears of committing to a life partner. Dating is more complex than before. I have worries different from what a typical relationship involves.
Will they understand?
Will my future partner comprehend who I was before MG? My last boyfriend is the last person I dated that knew me before and during my first MG crisis.
I have dating anxieties moving forward. I worry. My future partner didn't know the person I was before MG, so how could they understand all I am grieving?
Will I feel comfortable?
Since my diagnosis, I have found it complicated to communicate my symptoms and needs without coming across as asking for sympathy.
Will I ever feel comfortable enough with someone I date to open up to them about my disease? Can I be authentic with my MG and not have someone view me as depressing or attention-seeking?
Is there a person whom I won't hesitate to ask for help? Is there a partner who will not get scared imagining life with someone who has a chronic illness?
Can they meet my needs?
What if someone tells themselves a false narrative that I'll get better? Could they ignore the reality of supporting a disabled spouse?
Will they be able to meet my needs? Suppose I don't have a crisis or am in remission from the period of meeting a future partner and marrying them. How can I know how they'll handle it if my health declines?
Looking past the vulnerability
My future partner I commit to will never know the person I was before MG, but we usually haven't met the older self of the person we date!
Everyone is changing as individuals and recreating themselves constantly. Committing to relationships is pledging to love and support future versions of each other.
It's not possible to be too open when dating. If someone doesn't know how to accommodate my MG, that doesn't mean I'm unloveable.
I can judge the caring capabilities of partners through their behaviors while dating and how they show up for my needs.
How will a future partner help with minimal and manageable MG symptoms? Do they keep my limitations in mind when planning outings? Are they mindful of their language and respectful when speaking about illness and disease?
It is essential to have honest conversations about MG upfront. It is out of my comfort zone, but I must be verbal if I want sustained happiness.
I don't want to ignore my body and mind, neglect my needs, and have the reality hit my partner all at once if I am in the future to a rapid health decline.
It takes time for a partner to adjust to dating someone with an illness, as it took time to relearn my new self and needs after diagnosis!
Even with the vulnerability MG may bring in dating, it can also enhance my relationships! I am a wiser individual because of MG.
I have new perspectives and prioritize my mental health. I have learned to love myself authentically first before investing in others. MG has inspired a better version of myself to present to those I date in the future.
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Have you ever experienced remission in your myasthenia gravis?