Feeling Left in the Dust When MG Prevents Us from Joining Our Partner

Myasthenia gravis (MG), the ultimate buzzkill, may have you feeling left in the dust when symptoms leave you unable to tag along with your partner to everything. It can leave you feeling betrayed, wanting your romantic mate to be equal with you ... but that's different from what a partner is.

Lift your partner up

We do not want to halt our partners' motivation, productivity, and individuality because our bodies aren't up for joining. It may feel unfair that they get to do something we would equally like to enjoy while we stay behind and mourn. But the world is not always fair.

Partners should support each other through lows and highs, always aiming to bring the other up, but never bringing them down, even when MG may leave us feeling alone and misunderstood.

It is not easy to accept the constraints of our bodies, especially when it stops us from always being hand-in-hand with our partners. But once we learn to take things for what they are, it presents an opportunity to work on our connection with ourselves, something many of us ignore when in a romantic partnership.

Get to know yourself

Always being around our partners with few breaks from each other may create habits of dependency and separation anxiety. The daunting reality becomes apparent when left alone: We may not know ourselves without our partner in the equation. We may not know how to self-calm and comfort when faced with emotions. We may not know how to be friends with ourselves.

Unless your partner has MG too, they will never entirely comprehend the fears, frustration, loneliness, and despair. That is a battle those with MG must learn to cope with on our own. It's an unfathomable feat for those in the habit of navigating life struggles in unison with a partner.

Self-reliance

Our ability to rely on ourselves can fade away as we stop prioritizing personal growth. The journey of self-discovery is never-ending. Learning to speak to ourselves as we would expect our partner to speak to us is not an undertaking to set aside. The only guaranteed consistent thing in our lives is ourselves.

If you have MG, it changes your life. For some of us, it is our first significant health complication. Or it might blend in with your life, feeling like another diagnosis you're adding to your resume. Whatever boat you're in, the world you know shifts in some way by MG - the symptoms, treatment, medication contradictions, side effects, and immune suppression.

Change is more effortless when our relationship with ourselves is stable and healthy. We then know how we go about things and the timeline in which we process them. We better learn how to cheer ourselves up and redirect our attention to healthy coping. We discover our life purpose and how to focus on the good during dark times. Then we find we aren't resisting change but instead going with the flow.

Missing out prevents false expectations

When we must accommodate our MG and miss out on joining our partners, it prevents the false expectation that everyone will accommodate our MG.

It may seem heartless and harsh each time we find ourselves disappointed by others who are unwilling or unable to accommodate our MG's unique limitations, but working towards independence and self-reliance is not only straying away from dependency on our partners, but also from all aspects of life

Time alone builds thicker skin while improving self-love and support, allowing us to persevere through disappointment until we eventually end up with a network of people and a healthcare team that does their best to support us and our illness.

Difficult times, when you cannot join your partner due to your MG, may make for an emotional episode of grief and discomfort. Still, each time you are alone, you can learn something new about yourself that will aid in navigating life with a chronic illness and be applicable later in other endeavors.