MG and anger
i do not have MG but my mother was diagnosed with general myasthenia 22 years ago when i was 13. i have joined the forum to seek a few answers.
She was on 75mg-85mg steroids for 5 years and even during that time had attacks for which she was given more steroids at the ICU. She faced a troubled childhood and a difficult marriage so i am sure she has bottled emotions. this seemed to be amplified with MG and steroids. I was unfortunately victimized as a young child from the age of 13 where she would hit me violently and mentally torture me with arguments going being dragged for days, misunderstand me all the time.. this went on and off over the smallest of issues for about 18 years where i developed anxiety until i learnt to stand up for myself very recently. i myself got diagnosed with MS last year and have been in therapy twice for this as i just cannot come to terms with the years of trauma..
When i partially confronted her, she was hysterical, in denial of all that has happened in the past and mentions that being on prednisone 75-85mg for 5 years, caused her anger and the side effects lasted thereafter. Is this true? does erratic behavior from steroids last for over 10 years once you stop taking it?
Please help.
Hi Sally,
Thank you so much taking the time to answer so thoroughly. I have mentioned all this to my therapist. However, as it’s difficult to go into confrontations with my mother, my therapist mentioned that since you are not allowing yourself to do that, you will need to accept that choice and move forward. I do agree with this however I know deep down I honestly just want to confront her and I got an opportunity where I did. It wasn’t a heated conversation so that was great. I told her that really do not need an apology for every single incident that happened but I do want you to know that I was very scared of you for that time and many years following that. I elaborated on a few bits but left the others. She was very apologetic about it and her behaviour and mentioned that she reached out for help from her mother at the time to help care for us however she point blank said no, it’s not possible. I believe she already had a tonne of problems from her childhood, marriage and the steroids taken only amplified that rage which she took out on me. And I have now finally made peace with it. 😀Hi Sally,
Thanks so much for taking the time to reply so thoroughly. You are right, she was raised in a golden cage where everything was provided in a materialistic manner but there was no compassionate or emotional support for her when needed. I think trapped rage built up inside her for years and steroids merely heightened this rage for years. I have spoken to my therapist about it and her approach on the matter is - “you don’t want to allow yourself to talk to her as it will lead to rage issues so really you will have to accept thAt you have made that choice and will also need to accept that this is how she is as a person” - I have spoken to my mum recently about it. Mentioned that I really don’t need a sorry for every episode that happened. Just need you to know that although I remember how awfully tough it must have been for you at the time with your own illness, family being unsupportive on both sides, it was difficult for me as a young child to take the brunt of it. I used to be extremely scared of you and that festered for several years. I simply wanted to be able to come over and say “was all that anger necessary?” - she apologised and said she’s really sorry that she state of mind made her treat me this way. That is all the closure I wanted. 😀
This is such a relevant post. Before I was really aware, I was "less than nice" during those evenings of "roid rage." One night he called 911 because I forgot to pack the "Wet Ones" when we went out. Pred plus sheer exhaustion! That's why being a caregiver is so hard--not just verbal abuse but guilt. You know it's the MG or the roids taliking, but that doesn't make you feel better at the end of a long day.
Just a note: experienced MG physicians drop the dose of Prednisone as soon as practical, in favor of stuff like Imuran, IVIG, or the newer drugs. Pred is just too convenient, but the bone fractures and roid rage aren't worth it. We are now on a really low (5) dose of Pred and it is livable. Juliana (Myasthenia-Gravis.com team member).thank you for this Juliana
SMuk,
I am so sorry you went through that kind of abuse!! Have you been able to talk with your therapist about this? And your mom behaviors and claiming it was from the prednisone 75-85mg for 5 years, that caused her anger and saying the side effects lasted thereafter. I personally don't know if it could have been the cause for that type of abuse. But I can tell you that that is Normal Abusive Behavior. (Including finding something to blame other than being willing to talk about it. ie prednisone) I have lived through it myself and was a certified domestic abuse advocate for 10 years. And most people continue the pattern of behavior that they were raised in unless a conscious effort is made to end the abuse. Just my opinion but I feel that if someone is aware that medication can cause things like anger then that to a certain extent can be controlled if someone chooses to. Again, just my own opinion. Hitting violently & mentally torture is Abuse it doesn't matter the reason. Even if it includes the high extended doses of Prednisone. It Abuse just like any other!! Here is a link that might help... Hugs & Best wishes to you!!! Sally Farrier... Myasthenia-Gravis.com (team member). https://www.healthline.com/health/signs-of-mental-abuse#what-to-do
