Managing the Frustration of Being in a Flare During a Busy Season of Life

There’s never really a good time for a flare, but some seasons feel especially impossible. For me, this is one of them. I’m in my first real myasthenia gravis flare in two years, and it’s happening during one of the busiest seasons of my life.

When a flare doesn't fit into your life

Right now I’m juggling work in multiple directions, building and operating businesses, homeschooling my kids, raising a toddler, keeping our home moving, and carrying all of the invisible mental load that comes with motherhood and everyday life. Now, suddenly, my body is asking me to stop or at least slow way, way down. If I’m being honest, that’s been hard. Really, really hard.

I think a huge part of what makes this flare feel especially emotional is how long it’s been since the last one. Two years is enough time to settle into a rhythm. It’s enough time to start trusting your body a little more. It’s enough time to build routines, commitments, projects, and plans around the version of yourself that’s been feeling relatively well.

Adjusting to a different version of myself

Somewhere along the way, without fully realizing it, I built my life around the version of me that had more capacity. The version of me that could handle more, work more, move faster, and show up bigger. Now I’m having to adjust to a season where that capacity looks very different.

That shift feels jarring because the life around me didn’t suddenly get lighter just because my body got heavier. The world doesn’t pause while I wait for symptoms to become more manageable. My kids still need things. Homeschool still exists. Emails still come in. Work still needs my attention. Life keeps moving even when I can’t.

And that’s one of the hardest parts of living with a chronic illness: your responsibilities don’t always slow down when your body does.

Focusing on what I can control during a flare

As much as I wish I could simply wait for the flare to pass, life doesn’t really allow for that. So instead of trying to control the timeline of the flare, I’ve been focusing on what I can control.

Right now, that looks like lowering expectations, simplifying wherever possible, and getting honest about what actually needs my energy. I’ve had to stop measuring myself against what I could do a month ago and start evaluating what I can realistically do today. Some days that means accomplishing less than I’d planned. Some days it means asking for help. Some days it means postponing things that feel important.

None of those things come naturally to me, but I’ve learned that fighting my body’s limits usually creates more frustration than respecting them does. The more I resist the reality of where I am, the more exhausted and discouraged I become, and the longer it takes to actually feel better. The more I work with my body’s current capacity, the more manageable this period in my life feels.

Giving myself grace

One thing I’m continually working on during this flare is giving myself grace. It’s easy to focus on everything that isn’t getting done and to feel like I’m falling behind, but the reality is that my body is dealing with something significant right now. My energy isn’t low because I’m lazy, and my capacity isn’t different because I’m not trying hard enough. I’m navigating a rare disease that sometimes requires me to shift gears whether I want to or not.

I’m trying to remind myself that my worth isn’t measured by my productivity. Giving myself grace doesn’t mean giving up on my goals. It means responding to what my body needs with compassion instead of criticism.

Learning to pivot in real time

I’m also learning to pivot in real time. I'm asking myself daily what absolutely needs me right now and what can wait. Is there anything I can delegate or simplify? What can be scrapped altogether? Some things are getting postponed, some things are moving slower than I planned, and honestly, I don’t like it. However, pretending I can function like I did before the flare usually only makes things worse.

For me, managing the frustration hasn’t been about finding the perfect mindset or suddenly becoming okay with being sick. It’s been about adjusting expectations, accepting help when I need it, simplifying where I can, and working with my body instead of constantly fighting against it.

I still don’t know exactly how long this flare will last, but I’m learning now isn't the time for commitments or rigid expectations. It's the time to listen to my body and let it take the lead. It's also acknowledging that rest isn’t the opposite of moving forward. Sometimes it’s part of how we get there.